Boarding pupils

Or, as one Housemaster put it, "whether to outsource the 'Kevin' stage". Even if your teenager and the Harry Enfield character are as one, and they treat your house like the proverbial hotel, deciding to 'send them away' to board is still a major step for every family. If you live near enough, choosing between boarding and day school can be even harder.

Boarding works well for the majority of children of this age group. Once they reach 13, they are well on the road to independence anyway and spending time away positively helps that process. They develop their inner resources and the ability to be self-reliant. They can lean heavily on the close friends they make here and on the care of the Housemaster or Housemistress. And unless you are a parent based abroad, you don't wave goodbye to them for weeks at a time. The idea is not to deprive either of you of opportunities for contact. Some children who board see their parents relatively often, at weekends or on the touchline, at concerts or at plays. Parents are encouraged to drop in to see their children whenever they like, outside of lesson time of course. Communication with home is positively encouraged and mobile phones and emails have completely changed the nature and frequency of contact between parents and children - providing they haven't lost their phone, or had it confiscated, or lent it to a friend, of course. When they are at home, it is quality time, with both sides appreciating the other more.

Teenagers can be challenging, and our Housemasters and Housemistresses have experienced almost every variety of teenage angst and issue, some many times over. They listen and ask the difficult questions, deal calmly and constructively with crises, give good advice and support where needed, and handle the occasional rebellious outburst with a mixture of understanding and discipline. All staff set a strong framework for behaviour, but apply sanctions fairly, knowing that these are young adults experiencing the mood swings and turbulence of adolescence. A good relationship with an adult who is not a parent can also be a very positive experience for a young person. We contact parents whenever we feel there is an issue that they need to be aware of, and work closely with families if there are significant difficulties, which are fortunately relatively rare.

But boarding simply doesn't suit every child. Around 20 per cent of our students are day pupils. Although we expect this proportion to rise slightly over the next few years, Wellington will always remain a predominantly boarding school. We understand that some families prefer day school, and we have recently shortened the school day for day pupils to end at 6.15pm, though they may stay on until 7.00pm or 9.00pm if they wish.